How does each of the available Covid-19 vaccines work? Once the vaccine is injected, the mRNA is taken up by the macrophages near the injection site and instructs those cells to make the spike protein. The spike protein then appears on the surface of the macrophages, inducing an immune response that mimics the way we […]
I was really looking forward to a long, relaxing Christmas holiday. Christmas 2019 was not emotional calm because of my breast cancer. But what happened Christmas 2020? I was diagnosed benign paroxysmal positional vertigo – BPPV. Why me and why now?
Symptoms and diagnosis
The vertigo struck me like lighting one morning. I should just change my position, but all of a sudden I felt like running all the fastest carousels of the world. In addition I felt terribly nauseous and gradually I developed a headache. Just like that. I could not read the newspaper, watch television or listen to my audio books. It took approximately 15 minutes before I felt better. Luckily, I had an appointment with my physiotherapist the same day, because I have been struggling with my back for a long period of time. But it was not a pleasant appointment to say it nicely.
At the physiotherapists office
We made som exercises to provoke several vertigo attacks to get the otoconia in place. It is more a maneuver than an exercise, called Dix hall. At the same time the physiotherapist observed my eyes for nystagmus. But during the maneuver I became gradually better, so I could finally relax. No doubt the diagnose was crystal clear, so I could let go of all my worst case thoughts.
My physiotherapist was at least optimistic on my behalf, because he meant that I would just need 3-4 appointments repeating the Dix hall maneuver. A friend of mine almost did not leave her bedroom for six months, so I have been lucky. I have just been a bit dizzy in some mornings and nothing like the first BPPV attack. In addition I have done some exercises at home, but have had no dizziness or nystagmus after my last appointment.
The comfort is that BPPV is not something I would die of, even though I was really anxious at first. Who would not be? It is rather normal, but BPPV is not a pleasant acquaintance. Let´s hope for a happy Christmas 2021…
I begin and end with hope. Born, we hope to live a long life. We haven’t a clue as to the concept of “not being” yet. It’s hard not to think about the concept of no longer breathing: rising to the sweet smell of ion charged air after a spring rain. The concept of seasons […]
My previous post was pretty anxious and depressive. I wrote Trying to escape my cancer thoughts. To sum it up I was really shaken after Kate Preston`s death, and I spent most of my time running away from my feelings. I was grieving in a way even though I didn’t know her. My walking was in the beginning rather obsessive. But I decided to continue with what has become a daily habit. To make my activities even more interesting I decided to invest in a Fitbit watch. To be honest it is super motivational and helps me proceed my work for a better health.
Fitbit charge 4 watch
I decided to subscribe for a Fitbit premium membership. It is rather expensive and it costs me kr 799 or approximately $ 80. But the membership is free until September, so I have time to decide whether I am going to continue my membership or not. The Fitbit watch comes with a tiny instruction book and a charger, and the set up is rather intuitive. You need a smart phone with Bluetooth and the app need access to your location, because it is tracking your activities by using GPS. Because of this you may have to charge your phone often.
The Fitbit premium app
The app is really easy to use. The syncing between the watch and the phone seems to be automatic when the watch and the phone are close to each other. But you can easily swipe your phone when you are visiting the app and the syncing will start.
The app is very easy to use. You can choose between different premium features like health and fitness stats, guided programs, challenges and adventures, workouts and last but not least mindfulness. Your chosen health and fitness stats will be shown at the watch.
At this early stage I am following the health and fitness stats. My watch tracks steps, pulse, REM sleep, hour slept, heart rates zones, burned calories and kilometers. The only thing you must manually log is the water and food you consume during the day. But that is totally up to you.
If you want to socialize with other Fitbit users, the app comes with a “community”. It reminds me a bit about Twitter.You can write and get private messages, and you can publish public messages.
The Fitbit watch
I struggled a bit with the watch in the beginning until I learnt how to swipe the screen. I often forget to log the type of exercise I am doing. It doesn’t really matter, because it seems like the watch discover whether I am walking briskly or running, when I am in fat burn or cardio modus or not. You can choose between exercises like run, bike, swim, treadmill, outdoor workout and walk. When you “tell” your watch what you want to do, it will vibrate one time for fat burn, two times for cardio and three times for peak. You can turn these vibrations off if you like, because these vibrations use a lot of power and you have to charge your watch often. The vibrations can be turned off at the watch. In addition can you easily connect to Spotify.
My super motivational Fitbit watch
I needed a change in my life and I wanted to become healthier. My main goal is to prevent a breast cancer recurrence and my daily goal is to walk minimum 10 000 steps. Since I started to use the watch the anxiety and the depression are not that overwhelming, and I actually sleep better at nights. The anxiety and depression are still there, but easier in a way. I am often using the mindfulness feature to calm down, and I don`t struggle with fatigue in the same way as I used to. But that is simply because I have become more aware of my activities, nutrition and my water intake. And in addition I have discovered the nature and been to places I have never been before, even though I have lived in this town for over two decades. So thanks to my super motivational Fitbit watch!
I am very sad to day. I woke up this morning full of plans for the day. After scrolling the newspapers on the Internet I discovered that Kelly Preston is diseased after a two years struggle against breast cancer. I met my own fear with anxiety and I could not sit still. All my plans were changed. Instead I have been trying to escape my cancer thoughts with a very long walk.
I took a walk for about 10 km with an audio book to disturb my thoughts. But it failed, of course. I dont even remember the content of the chapter I was listening to. While I was walking my mother rang. She had also become very nervous on my behalf, because she had read about Kelly Preston too. What did I do then? Well, I tried to comfort her with the facts that my lump is out and that the oncologist told me I had an early stage breast cancer and so on. My mother calmed down, but my anxiety raised to a peak I havent felt for a long time. No one was there to comfort me. After my conversation I walked even faster yet again trying to escape my cancer thoughts. I get the same feelings when people ask me how I am doing, and I say I am doing fine. It is just like they dont believe me. I just feel it. People forget that my breast cancer is not someone elses breast cancer. Each and everyone is treated differently.
The anxiety equalizer
Back home I found my writings, some notes I made after my meetings with the oncologists. These words are gold to me and my only comfort. But it takes a while to find this comfort and the calm to ease off the anxiety. During the day I know my writings will. Even though I did not know Kelly Preston, her death had a huge impact on my day. It feels like I am in family or related to anyone who struggles with the disease, or have died of it. In a way that comforts me too. We are many and more to come, unfortunately. We can comfort each other, while each of us comfort our family.
Yesterday I read an interview by a scientist from Norway named Håvard Søiland. He and his scientist team have given me hope for the future and some good breast cancer news. Before I reveal what these good news are all about, I have to tell you a little bit about Søiland. He is born and raised in Norway. He was 11 years old when he lost his mother to cancer. Later on he also lost two sisters to breast cancer. But that was not it. He found that he was carrying the breast cancer gene, BRCA1, which his daughter has sadly enough inherited. Because of all these sad incidents, Søiland is now very dedicated to breast cancer. He is an educated bio engineer and professor in breast and endocrine surgery.
Every year about 3500 women in Norway get breast cancer. Recurrence may come up to 20 years after. Today the recurrence will be discovered as symptoms or during mammography.To make the story short, Håvard Søiland and his scientist team have discovered how to predict breast cancer recurrence almost a year before the traditional examinations like mammography.
When the cancer cells grow, some of them will die.The DNA-proteins will then leak into the blood. It means that the recurrence can be discovered in a blood test. The aim is to detect these proteins and you can start your chemo therapy or the therapy you need much earlier.
I hope this method will be a diagnostic test in the future. The problem is that breast cancer is not only one disease. The scientists need a battery of specific markers in the blood to offer or produce a specific test. It may take ten years or longer. Until then we have to trust the diagnostic tools we already got. But still, this are really good breast cancer news.
Recently, I was very fortunate to have been invited by Karin Sieger https://karinsieger.com/karin-sieger/ who is a BACP accredited and registered psychotherapist, writer and podcast host based in London, UK, to take part in her extremely popular ‘Cancer and You’ Podcasts as part of her ‘Cancer Voices’ series. In the first episode – Learning from others’ Cancer Lessons, I joined other […]
I have written to much about breast cancer and diseases in general. But, it is hard not to touch the subject of the horrifying Covid19. We all know, I hope, what to do to prevent the disease. To prevent infection of Corona The Norwegian Constitution Day 2020 May 17 th was arranged without the school parades.
Last time there were no parades were during the World war 2. So this is, as my son proclaimed it yesterday, the World war 3. In a way he is right. The whole world is fighting a virus. Yet , we dont got any weapons but hand wash, coughing and sneezing hygiene and physical distancing.The only comfort when I compare these wars, it is easier to seek shelter from a virus instead of the bombs. We can stay at home with our family while we are doing our hygienic measurements. But as I have seen in the News lately, some people don't care about the measurements, and they are protesting against the restrictions in their countries. I am very concerned. I am just saying "Stupid is what stupid does" and I just hope they wont become ill or loose someone dear….
Usually the parades are packed with happy children laughing, singing and cheerful, together with their associated schools, walking long distances to the music of a brass band. A Constitution day without a brass band is just unthinkable.
Because of the Corona restrictions the school parades 2020 were canceled. It is a restriction that makes sense, and we had to think on other alternatives. There has been different parades of Am-cars, police cars and parades of boats, ships and sailing yachts almost everywhere in Norway. Very practical when we got to have some physical distance to each other, but at the same time see our acquaintances or just other people.
The weather was on our side, at last. This winter has been long and hard. It was actually snowing May 15 th, but the sun was shining and warmed at least my frozen body. We decided to join the boat and sail yacht parade. My family got a sail boat which is actually my husband`s hobby. It is a 33 feet Contrast with all inclusive:)
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The Norwegian Constitution Day 2020 is now in the history books. This has been the best Constitution Day ever my son said before he went to bed. These words meant a lot to us and they came as a totally surprise. Maybe my family at least has started a new tradition. Who knows, only 2021 will tell……
In this very moment many people are fighting for their lives while I am living in a calm corner of the pandemic world, for now. Just 33 people among a population of approximately 50 000 have tested positive, and all 33 are declared healthy and out of isolation. No one in my town have died yet. But we are all living in an experiment and we don`t now the outcome yet. Some diseases put you at risk and the Covid19 disease and cancer may be a serious combination.
Covid19 and cancer
Chemo therapy makes you more vulnerable for any infections. Even for common infections like a cold. These viruses have your body been fighting many times. During a chemo therapy your immune system would have problem fighting these viruses, because the number of leukocytes are very low. Chemo therapy is on the list of risks that may give you serious symptoms of Covid19. No one has met the corona virus causing the Covid19 disease before. So meeting this virus can be devastating even for people who don`t have any underlying diseases.
Radiotherapy is also on the list of treatments that may give you a serious Covid19 disease. Radiation stops the mitosis of the cancer cells or kill them, but it also paralyze the healthy cells for a short period of time. Since the corona virus is an airway virus I assume the doctors are talking about radiation to the chest, neck, face and so on when it comes to developing serious symptoms, because the air have to pass by these body parts down to the lungs. When the radiation paralyze the healthy cells your body may be invaded by the virus.
I got some links for you about the Covid19 disease and cancer at the end of my post if you want to read more about it.
I have had radiation to the chest, because of my breast cancer. But I had to breathe in a specific way called coaching to minimize radiation to my lungs. To describe the method I will say it is like breathing in on command. Instead of lifting my stomach I had to lift the chest during respiration. I had to hold the breath until the radiotherapist told me to breath normally. But even though my radiotherapy is finished the radiation will keep on working for several weeks.
I see myself in the risk group, but my doctor disagree. I mean that since I have had cancer, my immune system must have been out of order. I also got an auto immune disease and have to take tablets for it everyday. So I don`t trust my doctor and I will take no risks and rather stay safe. I have changed my lifestyle to support my immune system like no alcohol, more fruits and vegetables, more fish, at least 10 000 steps a day and enough sleep to mention some measurements.
The uncertainty and fear for life caused panic attacks, and I truly believed that I never would see my youngest son grow up. I even woke up at nights with panic attacks and found myself standing on the floor. I had written down most of what my oncologist had told me, but during my panic attacks I could not find any comfort in my writing. In the end I had to ask my doctor for a prescription on Oxazepam, at least to get some sleep. But I also found that the medicine also helped me to pull myself together and think rational.
I never thought I would reach the end of my seven weeks of radiation because of the pandemic. But I made it. I voluntarily isolated myself to prevent any diseases, because that would have put me in a 14 day of quarantine.
Corona and anxiety
When Corona invaded the world I forgot all about the cancer. My anxiety was now caused by this virus. The difference now is as I feel it, I am not “alone” in the world with this overwhelming feeling. These days I think everyone knows what anxiety feels like……….
Cancer rehabilitation and side effects
After my radio therapy I was supposed to take care of myself. I planned to have long walks, visit friends and my mother, relax in our cottage and train. But corona put an end to all of my plans.
I have to use half of my days to be a (non pedagogic) teacher for my son. It doesn’t help him very much when his so called teacher is struggling with side effects like fatigue and concentration issues. The cure for these side effects is to drink a lot of water, a walk outdoor and a hobby or an activity that gives you energy.
I got mixed emotions when the schools in Norway are opening for my son this weeks. Some say children are less likely to become very ill of Covid19. Other children have died of the virus and some have developed the Kawasaki syndrome. So I don`t no what to believe or think anymore. I guess I will keep my son at home, because the Covid19 disease and cancer make me scared.
Hygiene and preventing Covid 19
For the future, at least until we got a vaccine, I guess I will continue to isolate myself, keep distance to other people and try to maintain good hand-, cough-, and sneeze hygiene. After I have been to the grocery store I also wipes of the packaging of the goods I have bought. You never know who and what other people have done to it.
My breast cancer treatment plan is not really settled. And why is that? The reason is caused by one tiny micro metastasis in one of seven sentinel nodes extirpated during my surgery, and not five as I may have mentioned in a previous post. I was operated BCT with sentinel node January 16 th. My BCT and sentinel node surgery
My surgeon is not conclusive when it comes to chemo therapy. So if it didn’t was for the micro metastasis, 3 weeks of radiation would be enough. In addition I need anti hormones treatment and Zoledronacid (Zometa) every 6 month for five to ten years.
Chemo therapy or not?
First of all, my tumor was 4 cm instead of 2.5 cm as the radiologist told me according to the MRI scan. I was in chock to be honest and really disappointed, and at the same time happy. Since there was only a micro metastasis the cancer has not spread in my body through my lymph system. My blood samples were also fine, so the size of the tumor and the micro metastasis are two reasons to have chemo my surgeon said.
The reason not having chemo is my tumor grade. It was graded as grade 1 which means that it is not so aggressive. At least that is some comfort to me.
A friend of mine told me when she was operated for breast cancer back in 2003, she experienced exactly the same dilemma as me. So when it comes to micro metastasis, nothing much has changed during the years. February 17th I am going to have a meeting with my oncologist. I don’t have much of an option really, because of the insecurity and my fright for a recurrence. I got to have the chemo therapy. How would I dare not to?
My surgeon told me that they are thinking about four rounds of chemo EC90. I will loose my hair, but that doesn’t matter in the long term. So this is what I know for now about my breast cancer treatment plan.
I had my BCT and sentinel node surgery January 16. Personally I wanted a mastectomy, but the surgeon kind of hesitated. I was told that the surgeon preferred BCT ( breast conservative treatment) because if the cancer comes back, I will have a better chance to be in an early stage. Without a breast there is not much space between your skin and the chest wall. But if you need a mastectomy that is your best option and I guess you will be followed closely by your doctors.
The day before…..
I had to take the MRI scan with contrast. I was really anxious about this procedure. Once upon a time during a MRI scan of caput I crawled out of the scanner and went home. This time I got some Oxazepam from my doctor to ease of my anxiety.
Maybe I could have manage without the Oksazepam? Because this scanner was not of the same type I have done before. The “tube” was in a way larger. And the best thing about this MRI scan was me laying flat on a table with my face down. I had no feeling of laying in a narrow «tube» constantly giving me panic attacks. In my head phones I was listening to the radio, which made me forget in a way where I was. There was a lot of fresh air, and I actually felt comfortable despite the circumstances, because this scan would decide whether I would need a chemotherapy or not before my surgery.
Luckily the radiologist could not see anything else but the tumor. The condition in the breast was nice and he could not see any metastasis (spread) of the cancer cells to my lymph nodes. So this scan made my day and I felt really relieved. Based upon the MRI scan it was decided that I should have the surgery BCT with sentinel node. This was the moment I have been waiting for. This heavy burden of my tumor would finally come to an end after a long period of waiting and worrying. It has ruined my Christmas, my 50th birthday and the New years eve. Unhappy new year with breast cancer
When the surgeon plan a BCT with sentinel node they install some technetium in your breast right under the mammilla the day before the surgery. It is a radioactive isotope in liquid form. After that I was to a scintigraphia to discover the radioactivity in the lymph nodes. They marked my skin with a marker pen, so that the surgeon could easily find them during the operation.
The surgery day
I was operated in an outpatient-surgery department early in the morning. At 13.30 the same day I was back home in my sofa. It took only 3 minutes before I was in T.I.V.A anesthesia ( total intravenous anesthesia) and that was great. No unnecessary chatting, straight to the point. The next thing I remember I was in the postoperative department, and my husband sat in a chair beside my bed. I was really happy he was there with me.
Before the surgeon starts the procedure he or she inject a blue liquid in the breast. This liquid got many names, but I know it as Patent blau. This blue liquid and the technetium are “attracted” to each other and the blue liquid will follow the technetium to the lymph nodes. To find these radioactive lymph nodes the surgeon use a Geiger counter. My surgeon extirpated 5 radioactive lymph nodes in addition to my tumor. I was really radioactive, and according to my surgeon that was a good sign for me. If the lymph nodes are packed with cancer cells there is no space for the blue liquid and technetium. But I still have to wait for the pathologists to exam them and the conclusion will be revealed February 4.
In the mean time I lean on the clinical exam, MRI – and ultrasound scan that could not find any enlarged lymph nodes or metastasis. The prognosis are good and that most of us will be healed even when we got metastasis to the lymph nodes.
I would love to say happy new year, but instead it is a unhappy New year with breast cancer.
My Christmas was destroyed after I felt a lump in my right breast Sunday December 8. I visited my doctor who was very busy with a fellow doctor and the new data program they had installed in the office. She examined my lump and the axillae and told me she would send me to a mammography. She ended my visit with: “I am not worried about your lump. Do you have Stripe/instant pay?”
After a few days I got the letter from the hospital where I could have my mammography January 9. Oh my God I thought, I can not wait that long. I thought I would be better knowing, but I was wrong. I visited my hospital and begged them for a mammography. My conclusion is no matter what I did would be right, so the Christmas would be destroyed anyway.
My emotions have been a living rollercoaster spiced with hope and fear, sickness, stomach pain, sleeping problems, panic attacks, anxiety and depression. You know the feelings you got when you are having tunnel sights as I call it. In some occasions the tunnel sight is spiced with blue lights. Like the one I normally get when I am about to faint. To reach out for help I was searching around on WordPress and discovered www.cancerbus.com.
So thank you Ilene <3 You saved my Christmas. And now you know why I messed it up.
My tumor was 18 mm on the ultrasound and the surgeon measured it to be approximately 2 cm x 2.5. For me that is a large lump, but not to the surgeon. She called it small and because of that she wants me to have a MRI the January 15. I must say I was relieved. What concerned me more is that I do not know yet how aggressive the cancer is, and whether it likes hormones or not. But I leave that thought for now, and celebrate my surgeons optimism.
My surgery is January 16 and I must say I am looking forward to get the tumor out. Personally I want to get rid of the entire breast, even though my surgeon recommend a breast conservative treatment (BCT). After that we have to wait and see. I guess there will be chemotherapy, but I just have to walk one step at a time. In Norway the prognosis for breast cancer are really good, so I will hold on to that thought too.
I found a lot of help in Ilene Kaminsky’s web site “The cancer bus”. After I wrote to her my feelings calmed down a bit, and my panic attacks were not constantly turned on. At least it felt that way. Ilene tip me about Karin Sieger’s podcast and web site. She is a psychotherapist who will help you with your emotions. We are many out there.
I have written a lot about my hobbies. But after I discovered the tumor I could not find any rest in any of my hobbies like knitting and crocheting, because I start to overthink. So knitting has not been of any help mentally. Hand knitting is mental hygiene The best thing to disturb my thoughts are audiobooks, radio or people.
I will have many ups and downs so I must say it is a really unhappy New year with breast cancer.
Do I have breast cancer? Well, the radiologist seemed pretty sure, but I got to wait to January 2. before I know for certain. Then the team at the Breast diagnosis center will decide what kind og treatment I need. This waiting time is so very long. It feels like an eternity. I keep panicking all the time. What I fear the most is that the tumor should spread to the lymphoid tissue in the mean time, and how and what to tell my children….
First I took the mammography . And after that I went straight to the ultrasound room. I understood something was wrong when the radiologist used the ultrasound in the armpits or the axillae. She did not say anything before she decided to take three ultrasound guided biopsies. Afterwards I found out that they had found an 18 mm tumor on the ultrasound. The surgeon measured it to be 2 x 2.5 cm tumor.
After the mammography, ultrasound and the biopsies I talked with the surgeon. The only thing I know is that there will be a lumpectomy, a breast conservative treatment. When the surgeon told me this I became a little more optimistic. They did not find anything suspicious in the lymphoid tissue in my armpits. But even though I think I will go for a mastectomy. I doubt I will undergo a plastic reconstruction afterwards with more anesthesia and another recovery period. I am feeling to old for that, and I don’t want to be treated with radiation afterwards. That is the prize for doing a breast conservative treatment.
I am now feeling sick and I living in a bubble. The blood has dropped down to my feet and the wall of a dark tunnel is making the world narrow. It is like a rollercoaster of feelings. Every feelings you can think of. What I think of the most is my children, but I guess I should try to leave these thoughts for now. At least try to be positive. I want to give my children the perfect Christmas, so I need to come out of my bubble as quickly as possible. It helps to distract your mind. I try to listen to audiobooks and music, just to distract myself. Knitting and crochet are out of the question at the moment, because then I start to think all these negative thoughts. So right now this is not mental hygiene……
It is always smart to examine the breasts. Some doctors say once a month and others say every second month. The most important thing is that you do. My problem is I don’t remember when I examined mine the last time.
To make my story short I discovered my tumor after I was having my shower. I could not feel any tumor but when I bent over to dry my legs I saw an entrapment in my skin. Then I started to pinch myself. That’s when I felt it and I completely lost it….. Do I have breast cancer? Well, I am pretty sure of it.
This disease combined with chronic stress and ADHD made me taste a burnout for several years.
But you don’t have to have a chronic disease to get a burnout condition. What ever caused your problems you are maybe asking yourself: I am having a Burnout- will I ever recover?
Are you in the danger zone?
When I am at work I work very hard. I can´t even have my lunch without working. It is a bad habit, but it is hard to change when it is a part of your personality.
So personality got something to say when it comes to getting a burnout. Are you a yes person and a perfectionist? Do you need more time alone than ever before, and most of your leisure time is all about resting? Do you forget things and are you constantly working to please others? Are you not socializing with other people and do you need something to relax? Do you feel apathetic and are you having mood swings? Well, I have to say you are in the danger zone….
I got the burnout diagnose after seeing a psychologist where I told her that I forgot names, got concentration problems, forgot appointments, forgot what I have told or not told people. Sometimes I actually could not remember the lyrics of the national anthem. It is like having cotton in my head. https://breathingroom.blog/chronic-stress-and-diseases/
So I have asked myself many times; will I ever recover from the burnout? It is not a state of mind you want to be in for long and you can’t rush it. It takes its time….
You have maybe been a person who took care of others, but now it is the time to take more care of yourself. Be a little more of an ego, at least when and if you can. It is a bit difficult when you got children, because you need to prioritize them.
The road back is long and I am not there yet. Some psychologists say it may take several years to recover a burnout and you need to be patient. If we are talking about chronic stress it is not a quick fix, because it is easier to prevent than to heal the condition.
I have found my way back, but I haven’t «found myself yet» and maybe I don’t? Anyhow I do listen a lot to audio books, mindfulness and weather recordings on Spotify. The weather recordings actually helps me to sleep and relax instead of taking a sleeping pill. It is so easy to get addicted to them, so Spotify is a good alternative. I have been very sensitive to music, but nature sounds have never been a problem.
A walk every day, to get some fresh air will maybe help you to find some sleep.
Yoga is very popular these days when it comes to handle stress and to relax, but it cost some money. https://wp.me/pb4jAC-qS
I am on my way……
I have knitted like a maniac, and after I while I became interested in card making, macrame, crocheting and to sing again in a female choir. The point is to do something you like to keep the depression, anxiety and the mood swing away to a certain point. These three conditions are unfortunately a part of having a burnout.
Yoga is very popular these days when it comes to handle stress and to relax, but it cost some money. https://wp.me/pb4jAC-q
It is important to learn to say «no» when you feel it is to much, because you AND your family will suffer when you are down and out. But it is easier said than done….
The road back is long. Impatience will not help, but will you ever recover from a burnout? I don´t know. It depends on you. Are you willing to seek help? Personally I must accept living with my chronic disease and its fatigue. But from the burnout it will take time to recover.
The society is going in the wrong direction. Each and everyone of us must work faster and more efficient. We are all running with blue flashing lights on our shoes like an emergency car. Having a good simultaneous capacity is in the long term not a good feature. I ended up with a overheated brain with lack of concentration and I started to forget things. The brain fog was extremely thick. My doctor and psychologist had to stop me. But should I feel any shame?Burnout- will I ever recover?
I have worked a lot. To much I must say when I think back. A peri operative nurse working with brain fog would be extremely dangerous. But I changed work when I felt something was wrong. You can feel it, but it is hard to explain what is wrong.
In the working life there is no room for diseases, and when the day comes and your body says «No», you feel you are being punished. When you are on sick leave long enough you have to beg for money. The politicians are still proclaiming that it should pay off to work. Yes, but at what cost? My body has really been paying off. Should I feel any shame?
A burnout with following fatigue, depression and anxiety is not a status disease like a heart attack. Even though it got such an impact on your life and family. It is «only» a psycho- somatic disease….. And when you first got that label it follows you through the health care. A psychologist told me once that depression is a symptom of a stressful brain. I have kept that in mind every time I have struggled.
Norway got a law. I guess in English it would be called working environment act. This law got many important paragraphs talking so nicely about including people with disadvantages. But I truly believe that if the pace in the working environment could slow down a bit, people with different diseases could work more. I also believe that there would be less people with burnout symptoms. https://wp.me/pb4jAC-pM
Can anyone make a good decision in a stressful environment? Maybe up to a point, but it would not last until you are 70. Of course it depends on the job and your profession. But I guess any job would stop you in the end
I have already answered this question. I don’t feel any shame, but the only thing I regret is not stopping myself in time. But how would I know? I was stopped and if I weren’t what would have become of me? The downhill was very steep and there was a brick wall in the end. No one is irreplaceable and no one would thank you the day you hit the wall. So please take care of your self and your family. Learn to say no, when you feel you have to take care of yourself and be honest about it.
I got ulcerative colitis and it was confirmed with colonoscopy i 2012. Personally I was rather old when I got the diagnose, but I was ill long before the bleeding diarrheas occur. In addition I had stomach pain, headaches, dizzy and fatigue. When the gastro specialist said «you got ulcerative colitis» he put me on medication right away. It was tablets, suppositories and rectal installation liquid. During a couple of days the bleeding stopped.
Ulcerative colitis is a chronic inflammation in the colon. It is an autoimmune disease where the body actually attacks its own cells. The scientists are not sure about the reasons. It seems to be some genetic, immunological and psychological reasons to it. But never the less, ulcerative colitis attacks the colon causing ulcers, bleeding and diarrheas. Ulcerative colitis and colonoscopy controls have become a part of my life.
Once a year I am having a colonoscopy control. Before a colonoscopy you have to have a couple of days on a diet and to use some laxatives. The diet can be different between the hospitals. But the common rule is some days on clear liquids without milk. The day before the examination you may drink the laxatives. On these days I am on a sick leave, because you got to “cling” to the toilet. A lot of water and other clear liquids with sugar are important. You need energy and to prevent dehydration.
A Colonoscopy can be painful. Some patients will need painkillers, or something to relax on during the procedure. The medicine has to be given intravenous. So far I have managed without the painkiller, and that is simply because of the doctor handling the scope.
The doctor is using water, air or CO2 to expand the bowel. You can watch the whole procedure on the monitor if you want. During the procedure the gastro specialist will take biopsies. Every now and then you have to turn and change the position to make the access and the doctor’s view easier.
Living with ulcerative colitis
Each person with ulcerative colitis got an individual history. Personally I have been using one type of medicine called Asacol all the way. Other people must use other medicines, and some needs surgery. It is all about taking control over the disease.
I have read a lot about the disease. Some scientists say that food has no impact on the disease and some recommend the foodmap diet. It is difficult to live on a diet when you got a family. But over the years I know what food to eat.
Persons with ulcerative colitis have to be careful with certain medicines. It is medicines which contain acetylsalicylic acid like aspirin, ibuprofen, voltaren and naproxen. In addition you shall not use iron supplements. These medicines can actually trigger your disease.
Stress triggers my disease. It must not be to many things going on at the same time, or the same day. I have found my ways to calm down and recreate, like my hobbies, music, audiobooks, affirmations and mindfulness. Meeting up with other people with the same disease can help you accept the situation and deal with your life.
You will experience good and bad days. And since ulcerative colitis is an autoimmune disease, it may have effect on the entire body. Many got symptoms from their joints, spine, eyes and skin and sometimes it feels like having the flue. But not all of the doctors accept these facts. Why is it so hard to believe? You are rejected with this psycho-somatic label, which is similar to “I am not taking you seriously.” Whether there are some psychological components or not, should not define you as a human being. It does not matter what disease you got, there is and will always be a psychological side of each and every one of us. Are there any diseases that don´t ?
Will there soon be any new knowledge?
My experience is that this disease is a low status disease and it is surrounded with taboos. The quite opposite of a heart attack, where the blue lights are blinking from the doctors and nurses heels. Yes I now a heart attack is acute, but these patient may also get anxiety. But this anxiety is more legitimate than someone with just a bowel disease. Are there any scientists out there working on the case? Nothing much has changed during the years since I graduated the nursing school. The laxatives have changed though, but I hope that the patients with this disease are soon to be examined with something else than through a colon scope.
I have heard about these examination capsules you can swallow, but I have heard about them for several years now…. During one of my examination I told the gastro specialist that I could not have a glass of red wine, because it gave me stomach pain. But my intestine where fine. She meant that I had an irritable bowel syndrome. When I was about to leave the gastro lab the nurse came towards me and said: “Well now you can have your glass of wine.” She is a typical example of what kind of comments people with lack of knowledge can give you. As I left I said: “No I actually can´t. Think about it. This examination did not give me the answer why I can´t.”
Well that is my life with ulcerative colitis and colonoscopy controls. I just wish I could live without them.
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